my failures with self-care

self-care, much like sustainability, is a hot-ticket trend that has infiltrated everything from magazines to cosmetic counters. but the nature of self-care runs deeper than something that can be purchased or commodified. it's a call to action to, as the word itself describes, take care of yourself. self-care could - and should - look different to everyone, which makes it difficult to market. as aware as i am of what self-care should be, there have been many, many times where i've failed at taking care of myself, at addressing the issues that need to be addressed in lieu of slapping a face mask on and ignoring the deeper problem.

on the shelf: dead girls by alice bolin

alice bolin's dead girls: essays on surviving an american obsession was happily crowned my 400th new read book on goodreads  like many millennials, i have a slight obsession with true crime and have plowed through every single episode of my favorite murder. so when this novel came across my radar, i immediately added it to my amazon cart and clicked "order."

an introduction to low-waste living

it seems that sustainability and low-waste living are hot-ticket trends nowadays. but what a lot of the mainstream rhetoric neglects is how inherently privileged sustainability and low-waste living is. while many bloggers and influencers preach its cost-effectiveness, the switch from using cheaper, less environmentally friendly products to low-waste or sustainable alternatives takes a lot of research and a lot of money. stores like buffalo exchange or goodwill may have bang for their individual buck, but not much can beat a cheap old navy or target sale. markets like whole foods have tons of low-waste or even zero-waste options but their prices make it impossible to shop if you're barely making above minimum wage and/or have a family to feed. the grocery stores like star market or market basket are easier to seek out and easier to afford, even if every piece of produce is wrapped in plastic.

so how can we begin our transition from high-waste, environmentally harmful living to living a low-waste, low-impact, more sustainable life? it's been a journey i've been embarking on over the last six months or so and, while my process is imperfect and flawed, i figured i would share some attainable, reasonably cost-effective ways to get started in making change.

to easeful days: new beginnings

photo from: @taylortippett

it's been a minute since i've written anything remotely public - since 2015, now that i think of it. i've been toying with the idea of re-entering the blogging world for a few years now and i seem to talk myself out of it every time. the cycle of self-doubt convinced me that i have nothing to add to a community that seems to fill so much space. whatever i published wouldn't be interesting enough, eye-catching enough, trendy enough, to reach anyone. but i think it's time that - instead of giving in to the insecurities and the hesitancies - that i let myself try, and maybe fail, again.

one of the mistakes i made the last time i tried my hand at this was confining myself to only publishing about one thing. i confined myself to only one type of writing and, when that writing no longer came naturally to me, i let all of the hard work i'd put into my blog fall to the wayside. hopefully one of the benefits of a more neutral domain name means i can dabble in as many things as i find interesting: books, tv shows, sustainability, ethical fashion, low-waste living, cooking, poetry, podcasts, mental health and trauma recovery, etc.

naturally, i'm nervous to put myself back out there in fear of being judged by the internet - or worse, by people i know. i don't want to come off as pretentious. i especially don't want others thinking that i place such value on my voice that i feel this dire need to make my thoughts known, because that's not the case. but i think it's gotten to the point now where if i don't try, if i don't take this leap of faith, i never will.

so, with all that said and done, here's trying and letting myself potentially fail. here's to pushing myself to write and delve deeper into the things that bring me joy. and, above all, here's to new beginnings.

- a.